Make the Damn Plans.

Adult friendships are hard.

Hard to make, hard to maintain, and honestly, sometimes hard to find time for at all.

As adults, we go through the rat race of life every single day. That American Dream we’ve heard about our whole lives? Come to find out, it’s not exactly all it was cracked up to be.

Monday through Friday can feel like the same routine on repeat: work, spouses, kids, bills, responsibilities. This kid has soccer practice on this day, while the other one has a game in a completely different town. We’re out of groceries, the mortgage is due, the laundry is piling up, and for the love of God, the dog pooped on the floor again.

Somewhere in the middle of keeping everyone alive, fed, clothed, employed, and where they’re supposed to be at approximately the right time, we forget that we’re supposed to actually enjoy our lives, too.

Seriously, when was the last time you did something just because it was fun?

When was the last time you sat down with your friends over a drink or a cup of coffee and caught up on the ridiculous details of each other’s lives? Shared your wins, talked about what’s been hard, laughed until your stomach hurt, or spent twenty minutes venting about the bitch at work who insists on holding meetings that absolutely could have been an email?

Somewhere along the way, I think a lot of us started treating fun like a luxury. Something we’ll make time for once the house is clean, the work is done, the kids’ schedules calm down, the bank account looks better, and life finally becomes a little less chaotic.

Except... when exactly is that supposed to happen?

One thing I didn’t really understand until I got into my 30s is that I don’t need to be a millionaire to enjoy my life. I don’t need a huge vacation, a perfect house, or some Instagram-worthy version of adulthood.

I need good relationships with the people I love.

Sometimes that’s a date with my husband. Sometimes it’s a girls’ night with my friends. Sometimes it’s taking my girls to Barnes & Noble on a Sunday just to wander around and get out of the house. None of those things are extravagant, but those are the things I remember.

The same goes for friendships. We can love our friends dearly and still accidentally go weeks or months without actually seeing them. We send each other memes, react to Instagram stories, say “we seriously need to get together soon,” and then suddenly six months have passed because everyone is busy living their own version of the same chaotic life.

I actually had one of those realizations recently.

I hadn’t seen my group of friends in a while, and one day I thought, “Hey, an all-women fantasy football draft could be fun.” So we planned a draft night. The husbands were allowed to attend strictly for fantasy football app technical support, we drafted our teams, ate way too much good food, and I somehow ended the whole thing owning a reusable balloon arch.

What was supposed to be a fun little draft night turned into everyone staying until almost 4 a.m.

We talked, caught up, listened to music, danced, sang until our voices were hoarse, laughed our asses off and, yes, drank more than enough. Everyone had a safe way home or a place to stay because apparently I do have to be the responsible adult somewhere in this story.

The next day I was absolutely worthless. My house looked like the aftermath of a frat party, my voice was gone, and I questioned several of my life choices.

And I’d do it all over again.

Not because of the fantasy football, the food, the drinks, or even my now very useful balloon arch. I’d do it again because I hadn’t realized how much I missed my people until they were all sitting in my house again.

I think that’s the part we forget. Sometimes you don’t realize how badly you needed to reconnect until you finally do.

So why don’t we do it more often?

Honestly, I think we’ve made “getting together” way more complicated than it needs to be. We think we need a reason. A birthday, a holiday, a perfectly planned girls’ trip, reservations somewhere expensive, a spotless house, or a Pinterest-worthy charcuterie board that costs $87 and somehow still leaves everyone hungry.

We don’t.

Not every girls’ night needs a theme, matching pajamas, custom cocktails and a weekend Airbnb. Sometimes it can literally be, “Come over Friday. Bring whatever you want to drink. I’ll order pizza.”

Your house can be messy. Your laundry can be sitting on the couch. Serve the chips straight out of the bag. Nobody actually cares. And if your friends do care that there are dishes in your sink when you invited them over for wine, you might need different friends.

We need to stop waiting until life slows down, because I’m starting to realize that it probably never will.

There will always be another bill, another practice, another deadline, another grocery run, another load of laundry, and another reason to say, “Maybe next weekend.”

So send the text.

Plan the girls’ night. Invite everyone over even if your house isn’t spotless. Order the pizza. Open the wine. Play the stupid game. Go to brunch. Sit around somebody’s kitchen table until midnight talking about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing.

Your inbox will still be there tomorrow. The laundry will probably still be there, too.

And apparently, the dog may shit on the floor regardless.

But there should also be stories. Inside jokes. Girls’ nights. Date nights. Sunday bookstore trips. Drinks around a kitchen table. Belly laughs. And people who know exactly what you mean when you text them, “You are not going to believe what happened today.”

Because enjoying your life isn’t something you earn after you finally get everything else done.

You’re supposed to be enjoying it along the way.

So have the girls’ night anyway.